The eagle has landed.........

Firstly, thanks to Rob Hancock for the text that spawned the blog title... 


Secondly, i may not be posting every day but will try to post at least once or twice a week whilst im out  here.  Although, If today is anything to go by, I might need to post daily as way of therapy!...


Thirdly, im not at all a seasoned blogger so please dont expect anything special, and feel free to post comments etc.

Ok, lets get started....

Flight with Jet airways.... not bad.  as much Dom P as you drink and guinea fowl stuffed with pine nuts and parmesan for lunch,  certainly in keeping with the manner to which i am accustomed...

Airport - busy and disorganised but manageable. Get picked up and arrive at apartment ok.

There is no reception, but a dodgy looking fella that speaks, literally not a single word of the queens.  he gets me in a lift and points at the buttons so that i can tell him which floor my flat is on... problem being that i dont know as i have just arrived and havent been checked in by anyone!!

so... i call Mohan, who lives in the same block.  its 2.30am at this point btw.  He talks to the guy for me and there is a degree of understanding.. or so i think...

... he takes me up to the 7th floor and rings the bell of what should be my flat... its not.  an angry indian chap and his wife, not that impressed at being woken up at 2.30am start shouting at me.. brilliant.

he then works out that my flat is the one next door (great, considering my neighbor now thinks im a complete tosser!!) and rings that bell... my thoughts are 'surely if its my flat then no one will answer as im obviously not in there... but no.... the door opens and im presented with two boys of around 18ish i estimate. i assume the maid and cook as mentioned in advance by by Phil.  They both address me as 'Sir'... Love it.  I may get them to refer to me as the Earl of Cannock eventually, but Sir will do for now.

i go in, start to feel a little more settled and get the guided tour off the more talkative one of the boys (who shall be known as Batman). the flat, in general is ok.  the two bedrooms are pretty big with an en suite, fridge and 32 inch flatscreen in each... along with a rose on each bed and a full bouquet of flowers on one, which he subsequently hands to me.  bit weird, but fair enough, its a nice gesture.  we finish the tour... the kitchen is a decent size and the lounge is also pretty good so im feeling better about it all by the second.

Batman asks if i need anything else and also when would i like breakfast... i talk to him for a second and then drop a small tip to both him and Robin (who doesn't really speak at all btw), expecting that they will then leave..... they dont.

I ask him about the whereabouts of my apartment key, he says that i should just ring the bell if i need to come in to the flat... im bewildered and tired so i just go in the bedroom and get ready for bed.  about 30 mins later, i want to switch the router on to get the internet working, so i come out of my room and go into the lounge...no one about so they must have finally left...great!!!

i notice the kitchen door is open so go to close it.... only to be presented with the two young boys sleeping on my kitchen floor with blankets!!!!!

WTF!!!  Im too tired to question tonight so will need to have a serious chat with them via a translator tomorrow, but the general feeling im getting is that they permanently live on my kitchen floor and are at my beckoned call 24-7.

whilst having actual dedicated servants may sound great, im not 100% feeling it right now, to be completely honest.

I have also found in the room, a book with one or two guidelines... I quote:

NO SMOKING - NO ALCOHOL - NO VISITORS - NO PORNOGRAPHY

Now, I wouldn't mind usually, as im happy to break all of those rules on the sly as standard.  problem being, when you have staff living on the kitchen floor, its pretty difficult to get away with.

so, just to recap what the day has yielded:

1 X fowl

4/5 X dom perignon

0 X key

0 X smoking

0 X booze

0 X porn

2 X small boy

1 X bouquet of flowers

Im starting to feel like a sex tourist.